Posts Tagged ‘infidelity’

Sometimes, being in a relationship has its downsides.

If you’re a girl, it may be that your boyfriend/husband is a little bit on the overprotective (AKA annoying) side and is being a chameleon; going green when you hang out with male friends, black and complaining if you’re in a tiny skirt that draws attention to your legs (but hey he has no issues seeing them on other women), red and on the defensive if you show any sign of disapproval about something that he’d done, even if he is guilty of the crime etc.

You’ve heard the age-old saying: A woman has many faults, a man has but two; everything they say and everything they do…

If it’s a guy that you are, you may be a teeny weeny bit fed up of your girlfriend’s or wife’s continuous nagging about not calling on time, not turning up on time, not eating on time, not paying enough attention, getting home late etc. There are also the accusations of not caring, not loving her enough, having lost interest, having looked at other girls (yes apparently you hadn’t been discreet enough, and she’d seen the drool on your chin), and well the list goes on…

So how great would it be to have TWO spouses or lovers??

A one-on-one with a close friend on his hectic love life revealed that cheating can in fact (contrary to popular belief), be quite a strenuous pastime that’s also mentally-exhausting.

Let me start by giving you a brief about his life then, and yes yes, I did get his okay to reveal his horror story to the general public. Let’s just say that he had the perfect life with the perfect girlfriend who adored him to distraction, literally. Being a little sick and tired of the general bickering that is part and parcel of some relationships, he turned to a pretty and more mature girl (a little older than him apparently) who’d just joined his firm, for solace. After a few exciting months of tailing the new girl, he finally bags her (they shared something special apparently), thus leaving him with not one but two girlfriends. Isn’t that cool now?

From a guy’s point-of-view: “Hell ya!!”, and from the point-of-view of the guys trying to seem ‘above’ being psyched about having two girls: “That’s cheating, and cheating is baaad” – when you know that what they are actually thinking is“Hell ya!!”   From a girl’s point-of-view: “NO, that is NOT cool!” (accompanied by a look of disdain, disgust and dislike), and from my friend’s point-of-view: “Gosh I’m tired…” (said with a disgruntled and massive sigh, which leaves us with a not-so-subtle hint that him being tired has nothing to do with an increase in physical intimacies).

What did increase however was his phone bill, monthly expenditure, and the nagging and bickering, and a bonus of constant fear of being found out, stress and muddled memory. The two girls apparently call at the same times, suggest going out on the same days, have the same tastes in things (ha ha) and for some reason unknown to him, seem to think that he’s cheating on them or is at least up to something fishy. Okay so maybe this guy is no pro at maintaining multiple affairs, but what I’m trying to accomplish by going public with his private life is to point out that cheating is no piece of cake, and to discourage those on the verge of taking the plunge into a world of infidelity. I just hope he won’t stop confiding in me though, because obviously his stories and close calls are highly entertaining.

Back to him. Then there is the business of deleting text messages before seeing each girl. It’s an art apparently – he has to delete X’s messages when meeting Y, but has to have enough of Y’s messages in his inbox (just in case she checks his phone and she always tries to) to show that he ‘cherishes’ each and every “I love you” or “I had my lunch, did you?” message. Vice versa when seeing X. And of course their phone numbers need to be saved under male names so that he can cook up something about a friend trying to be funny in case he is to receive a missed call or  lovey dovey message from one when he is with the other. AND their proper names or pet names need to be re-entered when seeing the relevant girl.

There was also the time he went slipper shopping with X and insisted that she buy a certain pair of white slippers. Next week, he sees Y wearing the same pair, leaving him strangely disoriented and unsure about exactly who he went shopping with for them in the first place. And if one was to frequently go for movies in Colombo like he does with both girls, one could very easily get memories muddled about who was taken for what and so forth. One also needs to be aware of the little disasters that could occur, those that one has little control over, like the time his colleague asked X (on an instance that she’d called the office) whether he should tell my friend that Y had called.

Now, most of his days and hours are spent in fear of being found out by either party or being seen by somebody that knows X or Y and so on.

The best part is that both X (whom he has been dating for over 3 years now) and Y (who he’s been seeing for about 6 months) are already planning on how many babies to have and what sort of wedding it’s going to be, when all he is dreaming about is how to disentangle himself from both of them.

Entertainment at its peak! Who needs TV when there is real life drama unfolding all around you!

 

Moral of the story: Can’t handle one? Chances are that you can’t handle two.

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They say that before you take your last breath, your whole life flashes before your eyes. It’s true; I see mine now, moments, fragments of memory, flashing across my already blurring vision in bursts of light. The pond, the butterflies that used to flit around in mad fervor, leaving home, discovering life, the crazy orgies, seeing Dilly for the first time, the duet. Everything had changed after that, and I feel now in my slowing heart the way my heartbeat raised the very first time I lay eyes on her.

The day had been invitingly warm, and the guys were all hanging around the local pub, waiting to get laid. Tonight was going to be a good night. The atmosphere was practically screaming that something out of this world was going to happen. And it did. We heard her before we saw her. And before we knew it she was in our midst. A vision. Of innocence, of new-found lust. Her chest heaving, her eyes darting, till they met mine. It was her first time. I knew it the moment our eyes connected. A most thrilling thing, this meeting of eyes; this meeting of lives, this exchange of souls, this understanding. I knew it was her first time and I knew she was mine.

The duet. The age-old mating ritual. The synchronization of sounds of lust. They say that men of science have after years of research discovered a pattern in these sounds, this synchronization of sound that is the epitome of the mating ritual. But no one had the pleasure of scrutinizing the music we made that night, the magic, and the fervor, locked away in memory to be recounted before one’s last breath as a moment in time that mattered.

Death. My body spasmed and my head involuntarily fell to my right. Bodies, countless, unmoving, all around me. Females and children. Soon I too would be just another body. But I know I didn’t deserve this death. And maybe they didn’t too. They had merely done what they had to do, risk death to keep our kind alive. Now, dead, maybe they have second thoughts about putting kind over self.

I just wanted to see Dilly. Lying there in the midst of countless hot-blooded females, I knew I had wavered; I had forgotten what my life was all about, and it was taken from me. Dilly.

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*Dedicated to all the mosquitoes I zapped to death while at the PC.

 

Interesting mosquito fact: Males form large swarms and females fly into the swarms to mate. When a mosquito tracks down the whine of the opposite sex, it begins to synchronize its own pitch to fit that of the potential mate.

Note of warning to male mosquitoes: An average human has not the ability to see that you’ve got the balls to lay off blood unlike your female-counterparts, so unless you want to end up dead, do not go looking for your girlfriend on a ladies night out drinking.