Posts Tagged ‘manners’

It’s not right that only women (well certain women) are accused of not being able to keep their legs together.

Passing a prestigious bank a couple of years back, I glimpsed a spectacle that to this day remains etched in my memory and on that day wouldn’t have made the gardener who tends to the bank’s immaculately groomed lawn too happy.

It was a bright and sunny morning and welcoming the sunshine with its arms (or legs if you prefer) wide open, was a mangy brown dog, right there on the middle of the impeccably cut grass. I don’t know if it was playing dead, mocking the efforts of the gardener or simply (for some misguided reason) revealing to the world that it’s got balls (and not in a ‘I am a dog with a spine’ way either).

So that’s the picture that flashed through my mind in the bus recently when I had the misfortune of having to stand beside a man in a similar stance (in the dog’s defense, it may have had an itch on its back or have been merely drying off its tummy). In this case, the offender was sitting on the side of the seat closest to the aisle with his legs wide apart and one sticking out (in my defense, the person sitting next to him was not that big-made and neither was the offender so there was perfectly enough room for the two of them to sit comfortably without blocking the aisle. Besides, the bus was fairly crowded and not everyone standing had the luxury of picking a better spot to stand). Grrrrrr….. So maybe I need anger management tips but there is an almost manic fury that rises within me when I come across selfish people in public transport.

Why do men insist on sitting with their legs wide apart? Ok so this maybe a personal grudge I hold against all men, with its origins dating back to my school days. I always ended up getting squashed against the car door when traveling to school as my cousin brother simply wouldn’t keep his legs together – however much I chastised him and however much he obliged, those legs would involuntarily find their way apart.

Thus having my feathers ruffled, I decided to ask around. Apart from a few lewd and crude comments, the overall answer (from those trying to be helpful) was that it was rather uncomfortable to keep their legs right together, no they didn’t always realize that they were being a nuisance to society by doing it, yes it was possible for them to keep them together if they wanted to (easy for me to say apparently) and also a few other comments on a certain little man’s right to breathe. I guess I asked for that…

Ladies are expected to sit with their legs crossed (not cross-legged but so that the bottom of one knee is placed upon the other) or with their legs together – it’s usually acceptable to disregard this expectation if we have seduction on our minds *part from the movie Basic Instinct flashes across mind*.  And although I made fun of my uncle last week for sitting like a woman (in the posture mentioned above, with his legs crossed – in my defense, he was insulting a certain person’s masculinity and I had to say something and what I said was that my uncle couldn’t afford to talk while sitting like that), I realized my mistake when I was firmly put in my place, being told that it was the ‘refined’ way of sitting.

It is isn’t it? It is considered good manners for men to sit with their legs crossed or together or in any way that it wouldn’t be blatantly obvious that well… that they’re thinking inline with the dog mentioned above.

For all those men who protest indignantly that It’s just the way we sit or It’s just too uncomfortable or even The little man will die of suffocation! I’d like to make a little reminder that it’s manners! I’ve noticed that most men with prestige, power and status sit properly: presidents, CEOs, directors, heads of various organizations (well just the sophisticated and intelligent ones I guess). Anyway, I’m sure you get my drift. So the way you sit could very well be one of those things that tell people exactly which steps you frequent in the ladder of success.

So apart from the girly-men looking gay when sitting with their legs together, the real men (emphatic pause…) look refined. So all you real men out there, if you’ve forgotten your manners, it’s time to brush them up. At least in public. Not everyone is impressed with the fact that you people take up more public space just so your little guys can breathe.