Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

I’ve taken it upon myself to answer this age-old question that men have for time-immemorial been pretending not to know the answer to. I mean seriously, it’s not that complicated, and man’s determination to hold on to the myth that they just don’t know is really starting to cease to be amusing.  wat_woman_want

Also, I’m not the first to be taking the trouble to put it down in writing for you men. If it was really that beyond you, all it takes is a simple Google search to learn a thing or two. But no. Why do that when you can seem so much cooler to remain the helplessly oblivious victim.

We want you to be honest: And don’t give me that crap about whether you should be honest when we ask you if we look fat in a dress. In such cases we want you to be kind. Is it too much to expect to hear good things from the person you love and is it really that hard to be nice? Really? And are you really that stupid to not know the difference between being hurtful and being kind?

Back to honesty; we need you to be honest about who you are and what you do. Because the moment you lie to us; for whatever reason; be it to hide a wrong or to avoid a fight; you make us distrust our own feelings for you. It makes us question our own judgment and makes us wonder whether we fell in love with something about you that you’re not. That’s where all the tears and tantrums come from. Be who you are. You lie because you’re afraid we’d leave, and that’s true. If we don’t like you the way you are or the things you do, we wouldn’t want to be with you. At least any sane person wouldn’t. And you should love yourself more than to expect someone to stay with you for something that you’re not.

You like fooling around with many women, flirting with options, being a chick-magnet, being impulsive and living for the day? By all means go ahead. But if you’re seeing some, respect that person enough to let them know so, so that they can make an informed decision whether to love you for what you are or leave you to enjoy your life the way you want to. You can’t have it all.

We want you to be the kind of boyfriend or husband who would love us for everything that we are, appreciate everything that we do, be proud to hold our hands and hug us in public, and make us feel like you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If your girlfriend or wife is not that, and you don’t want to be seen with her in public or have one good thing to love about her, then do everyone in the relationship a favour and walk away and look for the person who would actually make you feel that way. And women: you’ve only yourself to blame for being in a relationship where you’re not treated right.

It’s not that easy? You’ve been in it too long, you’re about to get married, you have children? Look, you always have a choice. Everything you have and are now is due to the choices that you’ve made. You can choose to live in misery or choose to opt out, you can choose to be faithful or you can choose to hurt your soul mate by flirting with an insignificant other, you can choose to stay or go. At the end of the day, you live with the choices that you make. You’re responsible for your choices. You’ve only yourself to thank or blame.

Back to what women want. Do we want you to be rich? Yes that would be a definite plus. Unless your money has been handed down to you by your parents or you’re a crook, being successful means that you’ve worked hard enough to earn something for yourself. It means that you’re not someone who sits around hoping to magically become rich or whine about what you don’t have or live off of your woman. It means that you respect yourself enough. Think all women are gold-diggers? There are as many gold-digger men who stay in relationships for the comforts, so enough with labeling women don’t you think?

Do we want you to have a pretty face? I know some women who like fat people, some who like the pretty One Direction types, some who like skinny white boys and some who like the tall dark types. We may be attracted to your messy hair, funny tooth or yummy chest. It really just depends on the woman. But if you’re a fat person who’s eternally blaming women for not being attracted to you, then you’ve only yourself to blame. Surely no one’s stopping you from putting everything you’ve got into losing weight? If you want to bad enough, anyone can lose weight. Quit making us seem like the bitches for not seeing what a great guy you are behind all that fat and lose it.

We want you to be intelligent. You don’t need to hold a PhD to have brains, be witty, or to be able to impress a woman with your smart mouth. If only you knew the things you’re capable of doing with your mouth. It’s really a shame that your brain can’t think beyond blowjobs. Ever heard of Voltaire having said “Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face and I will bed the Queen of France!”? He probably did.

We want you to stop putting us down. Just because you have not been taught better, it does not mean that it’s okay to put your wife/girlfriend down in public or otherwise about how she can’t drive or she can’t cook or she can’t do something when you expect her to drive or cook or do something when no one is around. Doing that only makes people feel sorry for the woman for having to be with a jerk who is the first one to say bad things about her, let alone defend her. You embarrass us, and not in the way you intended to either.

We want you to be able to take care of us, stand up for us, respect us, respect our opinions, and appreciate the fact that if a woman let’s you call her yours, she chooses to be with you, and that she can very well choose not to.

So what do women want? We want you to grow up and stop assuming we don’t know you know.

Sometimes, being in a relationship has its downsides.

If you’re a girl, it may be that your boyfriend/husband is a little bit on the overprotective (AKA annoying) side and is being a chameleon; going green when you hang out with male friends, black and complaining if you’re in a tiny skirt that draws attention to your legs (but hey he has no issues seeing them on other women), red and on the defensive if you show any sign of disapproval about something that he’d done, even if he is guilty of the crime etc.

You’ve heard the age-old saying: A woman has many faults, a man has but two; everything they say and everything they do…

If it’s a guy that you are, you may be a teeny weeny bit fed up of your girlfriend’s or wife’s continuous nagging about not calling on time, not turning up on time, not eating on time, not paying enough attention, getting home late etc. There are also the accusations of not caring, not loving her enough, having lost interest, having looked at other girls (yes apparently you hadn’t been discreet enough, and she’d seen the drool on your chin), and well the list goes on…

So how great would it be to have TWO spouses or lovers??

A one-on-one with a close friend on his hectic love life revealed that cheating can in fact (contrary to popular belief), be quite a strenuous pastime that’s also mentally-exhausting.

Let me start by giving you a brief about his life then, and yes yes, I did get his okay to reveal his horror story to the general public. Let’s just say that he had the perfect life with the perfect girlfriend who adored him to distraction, literally. Being a little sick and tired of the general bickering that is part and parcel of some relationships, he turned to a pretty and more mature girl (a little older than him apparently) who’d just joined his firm, for solace. After a few exciting months of tailing the new girl, he finally bags her (they shared something special apparently), thus leaving him with not one but two girlfriends. Isn’t that cool now?

From a guy’s point-of-view: “Hell ya!!”, and from the point-of-view of the guys trying to seem ‘above’ being psyched about having two girls: “That’s cheating, and cheating is baaad” – when you know that what they are actually thinking is“Hell ya!!”   From a girl’s point-of-view: “NO, that is NOT cool!” (accompanied by a look of disdain, disgust and dislike), and from my friend’s point-of-view: “Gosh I’m tired…” (said with a disgruntled and massive sigh, which leaves us with a not-so-subtle hint that him being tired has nothing to do with an increase in physical intimacies).

What did increase however was his phone bill, monthly expenditure, and the nagging and bickering, and a bonus of constant fear of being found out, stress and muddled memory. The two girls apparently call at the same times, suggest going out on the same days, have the same tastes in things (ha ha) and for some reason unknown to him, seem to think that he’s cheating on them or is at least up to something fishy. Okay so maybe this guy is no pro at maintaining multiple affairs, but what I’m trying to accomplish by going public with his private life is to point out that cheating is no piece of cake, and to discourage those on the verge of taking the plunge into a world of infidelity. I just hope he won’t stop confiding in me though, because obviously his stories and close calls are highly entertaining.

Back to him. Then there is the business of deleting text messages before seeing each girl. It’s an art apparently – he has to delete X’s messages when meeting Y, but has to have enough of Y’s messages in his inbox (just in case she checks his phone and she always tries to) to show that he ‘cherishes’ each and every “I love you” or “I had my lunch, did you?” message. Vice versa when seeing X. And of course their phone numbers need to be saved under male names so that he can cook up something about a friend trying to be funny in case he is to receive a missed call or  lovey dovey message from one when he is with the other. AND their proper names or pet names need to be re-entered when seeing the relevant girl.

There was also the time he went slipper shopping with X and insisted that she buy a certain pair of white slippers. Next week, he sees Y wearing the same pair, leaving him strangely disoriented and unsure about exactly who he went shopping with for them in the first place. And if one was to frequently go for movies in Colombo like he does with both girls, one could very easily get memories muddled about who was taken for what and so forth. One also needs to be aware of the little disasters that could occur, those that one has little control over, like the time his colleague asked X (on an instance that she’d called the office) whether he should tell my friend that Y had called.

Now, most of his days and hours are spent in fear of being found out by either party or being seen by somebody that knows X or Y and so on.

The best part is that both X (whom he has been dating for over 3 years now) and Y (who he’s been seeing for about 6 months) are already planning on how many babies to have and what sort of wedding it’s going to be, when all he is dreaming about is how to disentangle himself from both of them.

Entertainment at its peak! Who needs TV when there is real life drama unfolding all around you!

 

Moral of the story: Can’t handle one? Chances are that you can’t handle two.